I've not been blogging lately and i was not really sure why. Its already the end of October and we are around 2.7 shows down . The final push for panto. Upon reflecting on the past few weeks i have noticed a server drop in my confidence and after conversations analysis and a lot of painful thought i think i have come to the conclusion and its not really something i can talk publicly about here. I just hope i can fix it. I wanted to paint today but when i tried i just got angry again and thought whats the point. Its not right that someone can make you feel like that in the space of a few short weeks. Anyway I need to move on or i shall rant a half nonsense rant. So....
Less than 1 year to go and hopefully I will have a B.A in Technical and Production Arts and its safe to say the fear has set in. Work placements, Dissertations, Management role. Im not the most organised person so I am well aware I need to keep on top of everything. Thankfully I managed to sort my work placement and disteration out early focusing on opera for my dissertation i have been able to secure a work placement at the Royal Opera house in London in April. So safe to say i am over the moon. I have also recenlty been in contact with fiona clark at the Lyceum and she im welcome to come round for a chat and a wee peak round the workshop. Also very excited. I am hoping to get more into the art department side of things in a few short films and have been sending out a few emails today in regards to helping out. This summer courtesy of Luisa Cocozza (http://www.luisacocozza.com/) I worked on a short for director chris fallen called green the film was quick funny and beautiful shot. It had a few makes anD after watching the film i am please with the outcome. Panto, Meda and Dracula have all had a big mix of designs and given us a great chance to try/practice different tools and techniques. Spray guns, vermiculite (?I have no ideal how on earth you spell it) and of course that little bit of trompe. Anyway im going to leave this update just now and hopefully gain more momentum in the coming week.
It's hard when the motivation goes, it's like trying to start running uphill - not the easiest!
ReplyDeleteAnd then you begin to go back down the hill, and that makes you feel distressed and guilty, and then you look up and you don't know where you are but you know it's not where you want to be, and what's worse is other people are looking at you from the top of the hill (or so it seems to you) and you fall down a bit more and graze your knee.
Know what I mean?
But nobody can push you further down if you don't want them to. Eyes on the prize, get up and start taking steps back to where you want to be, and to those who will trip you up (and there will be a few) just remember you are in control of you, and as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other YOU WIN.
I speak lots, but I care lots too :) You speak my language.
Xx