All done

Cloths all finished and very proud. Need to remember the past few weeks not for me but more for what will be the 2nd years. Cloth  has showed me what i am able to achieve and made me feel a lot better about myself. I see now i was paranoid and very self involved but its ok cause it got me thinking about how i should be in at 8.30. How i should be more careful in my work. How I should work faster. How if over times there to be done I should do as much as I can because there is so much to learn. Looking back I guess  a little self indulgences is needed sometimes. Pictures of the cloth to follow at some point. :)

Happy days at work as well last night. Lots of chat and banter to the point of stupidity. Getting the job done but actually having fun. Feeling like I can do my job and do it good. Looking forward very much to Mr Simpsons visit tomorrow. Im going to have to do some drawing for uni on monday but  so looking forward to some cinema, food and a beer.

:)

Today, today was a good day. I got up early. Caught not just the early train, but the one before that and then just worked. I painted, fixed, touched up and enjoyed. I didn't feel like i was drowning. I worked mainly with Karen and Joe today and it was nice. It was a good pace, a good standard and a lovely cloth and it will no doubt be finished by tomorrows deadline of 5pm, more likely 1pm. Good days.


5 o clock brought on the horror of work. My most hated bar in the venue. Today I told them to stop putting me on during the week. The hours they make me work means I work so much I have to pay tax. Im happy with 20 hours thanks, PLEASE STOP TYRING TO GIVE ME 30. IF THE CHOICE IS YOU OR UNI .. UNI WINS EVERY TIME. That was a nice epiphany to have. Uni wins.


New brushes ... Gotta love them. Got little Xpert brush delivered, Actually used my Harris brushes but extra excitement is on the way. I arriving  home looking for my little red letter. The red letter that shall summon me to the Post Office to collect my

Purdy Glide.. Yum

However today, after a hard days work there was no summons but what was awaiting me was a a large white envelope with a pillar box red stamp proclaiming the identity of the sender. Calarts. Finally my visa paper work has arrived. A tick off the list and another step closer to feeling its real. You never know i might even go and see Matthew bournes Cinderella when I go down to get my visa.  Can but dream.

Just letting someone know.

Tree Cloth

Sometimes its best to take a step back and have a wee think. Realise whats actually bugging you and make a plan of action.  It might be paranoia. I might be someone putting you down in small ways to make themselves feel better. It might completion you never realised was there. It might just be the realisation you need to work a lot harder. Im fine. I don't feel like I am  drowning anymore. Today i took a step back and said im going to start a the side of the cloth because i don't feel confident. Saying the words made me feel better. Letting someone be aware I was insecure. By the end of the day I was adding in the detail to the middle of the cloth. I was being told I was doing well and i feel much better for it. 

In the past 2 days i have learned about griding, pouncing, Preping, Colour mixing. Of course I feel out of my depth! There so much to learn but at least im in the deep end with others and not struggling by myself.

Over time tonight again. 3 days till 8.30. The thing is i feel i might miss something.  Something that might make thing's click

Saddness : A vital emotion that will pass and allow you to feel the beauty of real happiness

I came online feeling pretty down about today. Feeling like i wasn't good enough in my major subject. Its a fact i knew that before i took it but thats why i am there to learn and develop. Flicking through facebook i noticed a friends up date ... 

Sadness- A vital emotion that will pass and allow you to feel the beauty of real happiness. It made me happier. It made me think I feel like this now but i will improve i well get better.

Today was good tho. We painted the green on the tree cloth. With alot of success. We also managed to pounce alot of the images on to the cloth. A pounce is a sort of stencil but much stronger and is most likely to last longer. We stayed until around 7.30pm before moving through to the workshop and drawing out the wave flats in Carpentry.  I sometimes feel like people think at 5 o clock our brains stop and we just go about the rest of our daily life but its not like that. If there is work to do and I can do it I will. 

                                         I also get the impression that a lot of previous students with there minors didn't go near them until the allocated time in January i intend to get as much experiences in both as possible. Why not take all you can get?

Anyway non uni related. My friend Mash told me about this funky little free download call poladroid. You put in a wee picture and it pops out like a polaroid ... slightly addicted! So here is a few from the past few months. 

  

New painting technique 

Little poppys
for drawing class

Paintshop

My boyfriend

Inspiration and thoughts

Tramps wise words of 2007

everyone takes life far too seriously and worrys about little insignificant things instead of enjoying the big picture. learn about the whole world and go feckin explore it, dont worry about celebrity culture bullshit, focus on your own life and those around you, who cares if jade goody has had a haircut, it wont make you any happier, find something you like and do it, if you have to work to be able to do it then dont fret about it. it could be worse. loads of 'stuff' wont make you wealthy. you think you need something to make you happy and lose sight that you already have a smashin life, get a good bunch of equally minded mates, listen to good music, not fashionable shite. that really grinds my gears! who cares what that random stranger in the street thinks about you, go have fun, no regrets. i should have been the bloody dalai lama

Dragonfly Project - RSAMD

A year ago I started my degree in technical and production arts. Sometimes I look back and feel like i have learned very little, then I stop and think how I struggled for hours making a picture frame in week 3 and my final few weeks where I built trick doors on a rake then hinged, hung them on frames and painted them. My progression to me is clear and although I may not feel confident my I can see a clear improvement in my ability. I look at some of the thing I achieved in last year which i am proud of and think ... i cant do that, but the thing is i've done it.





This week I have often found myslef looking at these images. I feel at a very low point in my confidence. With my major subject Scenic Art I feel like there is no right or wrong just it will do or not good enough. I need to remeber what I achived last year and that there is no reason why I cant achive 8 times that this year. I have noticed since i returned i am very crital of myslef. I would hope to think over critcal but increasing feel allthough i am being hard on myslef it is justifed. I feel like i need a success to make me as enthustic and happy as I was a few weeks ago.

Social thing are wonderful. The applied arts girl seem so close and happy. With movie nights, dinners, dougnuts and chats we genrally seem a really good time. Suprising with so many girls there isnt that much bitchyness.

Well i guess im not going to find my trupih sitting up here. Fingers crossed for me that i find somthing to give me that boost i need.

A video of happy summer times ... kevin our dragon fly x