My Jay

Jays been working on some 3d models for a animation he will be creating as part of a module in is final year of study at heriot what. Pride :)

Because I knew you .....

1st pillar on the left is mine

Sorry for that last few  few slap dash blog posts


The last few days the first years have been in paint shop working on marble pillars. One of the girls told me she saw my painting that i painted at the Scenic art summer school before i started the course and thought it was amazing. I remember at the time thinking it was a good first attempt but  over time i see how I would change it to make it so much better. The fact she said that tho gave me such a confidence boost it also reminded me how much i have improved and that now I know  how i would  improve it. Anyway slightly off track there my point being i know Im over critical of what i do and that a lot of the time when something annoys me or I think it doesn't look right thats not always the case (well sometimes it is) Your work generally looks better to other people than yourself.


This week we had a colour mixing class and i have to say quite frankly all 3 of us 2nd years are Rubbish at it! I think at the end tho with the help of a lovely flow chart we were getting it. Gonna make a wee video as well. That will really get it in my brain.


Time to reflect in a sappy manner. Extra cheese but i do mean it.


I have improved. I have gained confidence. I have gained a better work ethic and got my priorities  in order. I have learned new skills and developed on some i already had. I have learned to empathise  and have proved i work well in a team environment and i can see that this is true of my other team members. I could not have done this without the people who have been around me everyday for the past fews  Months. Sappy but true because i knew you i have been changed for good. Picking me up, letting me pick you up. Teaching me a method, telling me your opinion  and listening to mine. working as a team. So a big thanks to my scenic art girls, Gary and jamie and also TPA2 for being there, making this environment so lovely to work in  and putting up with my flaps and self indulgent who ha. It really does mean the world to me. You might not realise it and sometimes i forget it but you have helped me discover my passion.  




Extra cheese but im in the mood  :)  If i like you .. its probably about you.

Wicked: For Good Lyrics

I've heard it said 
That people come into our lives for a reason 
Bringing something we must learn 
And we are led 
To those who help us most to grow 
If we let them 
And we help them in return 
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true 
But I know I'm who I am today 
Because I knew you..Like a comet pulled from orbit 
As it passes a sun 
Like a stream that meets a boulder 
Halfway through the wood 
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? 
But because I knew you 
I have been changed for good 

It well may be 
That we will never meet again 
In this lifetime 
So let me say before we part 
So much of me 
Is made of what I learned from you 
You'll be with me 
Like a handprint on my heart 
And now whatever way our stories end 
I know you have re-written mine 
By being my friend... 

little catch up

<- Bits and bobs. Socks ( umbrellas and teacups!!)  hot water bottle and marshmallows a we late birthday present from laura to brighten up this stormy day


Its been a while since i have written and a lot has been going on .


Uni wise we realised how soon our deadline was and have been working like crazy. It been good tho. I learned a lot about pace time and tromp loie. Gary took all the 2nd years into his office today and told us we had been doing a good job. He has become aware in the past week that we are nervous and always feel like nothing right.  Today made us feel like it   we weren't as terrible as we thought and gave us an opportunity  to think about how much we have learned!

Turning a flat white board into something with depth and perception. I would have panicked a few weeks ago now i'm excited to practice it. I love the way this sign frame looks as if it separate but its not it just one light purple line. 




I have  barley had anytime to look at my design project with panto. Its been crazy i think i might ask for a few days to work on it when pantos over. I cant see any complaints!


I booked my flights to L.A yesterday. Getting scared it feels real. Gonna miss my Jay so much. Will be and amazing experience tho.


I want to right more but conciouse of time and a long 23 hour day tomorrow. Yay for work after uni!

 TIME FOR HOT CHOCOLATE

Bits and bobs all over the Place

Its been an odd few weeks. Workign backwards is the way i guess. Yesterday was halloween. Always one of my fav days. I remember mum used to dress us as witches with bin bags and a hat. One year she bought me these pink sparkly fluffy shoes and some wings so i could be a good fairy ... loved it! This year was just using an costume i got from eBay after last halloween. I feel everyone should own a trusty pirate outfit. Jay went as banana man it was fun.

Designer was in today. Loves what we are doing :)  

Worked a 6pm till a 8 am on Satuarday boo.

Need to sort out the world.

Got a washing on :) xx

Can you tell i realised how late it was.

All done

Cloths all finished and very proud. Need to remember the past few weeks not for me but more for what will be the 2nd years. Cloth  has showed me what i am able to achieve and made me feel a lot better about myself. I see now i was paranoid and very self involved but its ok cause it got me thinking about how i should be in at 8.30. How i should be more careful in my work. How I should work faster. How if over times there to be done I should do as much as I can because there is so much to learn. Looking back I guess  a little self indulgences is needed sometimes. Pictures of the cloth to follow at some point. :)

Happy days at work as well last night. Lots of chat and banter to the point of stupidity. Getting the job done but actually having fun. Feeling like I can do my job and do it good. Looking forward very much to Mr Simpsons visit tomorrow. Im going to have to do some drawing for uni on monday but  so looking forward to some cinema, food and a beer.

:)

Today, today was a good day. I got up early. Caught not just the early train, but the one before that and then just worked. I painted, fixed, touched up and enjoyed. I didn't feel like i was drowning. I worked mainly with Karen and Joe today and it was nice. It was a good pace, a good standard and a lovely cloth and it will no doubt be finished by tomorrows deadline of 5pm, more likely 1pm. Good days.


5 o clock brought on the horror of work. My most hated bar in the venue. Today I told them to stop putting me on during the week. The hours they make me work means I work so much I have to pay tax. Im happy with 20 hours thanks, PLEASE STOP TYRING TO GIVE ME 30. IF THE CHOICE IS YOU OR UNI .. UNI WINS EVERY TIME. That was a nice epiphany to have. Uni wins.


New brushes ... Gotta love them. Got little Xpert brush delivered, Actually used my Harris brushes but extra excitement is on the way. I arriving  home looking for my little red letter. The red letter that shall summon me to the Post Office to collect my

Purdy Glide.. Yum

However today, after a hard days work there was no summons but what was awaiting me was a a large white envelope with a pillar box red stamp proclaiming the identity of the sender. Calarts. Finally my visa paper work has arrived. A tick off the list and another step closer to feeling its real. You never know i might even go and see Matthew bournes Cinderella when I go down to get my visa.  Can but dream.

Just letting someone know.

Tree Cloth

Sometimes its best to take a step back and have a wee think. Realise whats actually bugging you and make a plan of action.  It might be paranoia. I might be someone putting you down in small ways to make themselves feel better. It might completion you never realised was there. It might just be the realisation you need to work a lot harder. Im fine. I don't feel like I am  drowning anymore. Today i took a step back and said im going to start a the side of the cloth because i don't feel confident. Saying the words made me feel better. Letting someone be aware I was insecure. By the end of the day I was adding in the detail to the middle of the cloth. I was being told I was doing well and i feel much better for it. 

In the past 2 days i have learned about griding, pouncing, Preping, Colour mixing. Of course I feel out of my depth! There so much to learn but at least im in the deep end with others and not struggling by myself.

Over time tonight again. 3 days till 8.30. The thing is i feel i might miss something.  Something that might make thing's click

Saddness : A vital emotion that will pass and allow you to feel the beauty of real happiness

I came online feeling pretty down about today. Feeling like i wasn't good enough in my major subject. Its a fact i knew that before i took it but thats why i am there to learn and develop. Flicking through facebook i noticed a friends up date ... 

Sadness- A vital emotion that will pass and allow you to feel the beauty of real happiness. It made me happier. It made me think I feel like this now but i will improve i well get better.

Today was good tho. We painted the green on the tree cloth. With alot of success. We also managed to pounce alot of the images on to the cloth. A pounce is a sort of stencil but much stronger and is most likely to last longer. We stayed until around 7.30pm before moving through to the workshop and drawing out the wave flats in Carpentry.  I sometimes feel like people think at 5 o clock our brains stop and we just go about the rest of our daily life but its not like that. If there is work to do and I can do it I will. 

                                         I also get the impression that a lot of previous students with there minors didn't go near them until the allocated time in January i intend to get as much experiences in both as possible. Why not take all you can get?

Anyway non uni related. My friend Mash told me about this funky little free download call poladroid. You put in a wee picture and it pops out like a polaroid ... slightly addicted! So here is a few from the past few months. 

  

New painting technique 

Little poppys
for drawing class

Paintshop

My boyfriend

Inspiration and thoughts

Tramps wise words of 2007

everyone takes life far too seriously and worrys about little insignificant things instead of enjoying the big picture. learn about the whole world and go feckin explore it, dont worry about celebrity culture bullshit, focus on your own life and those around you, who cares if jade goody has had a haircut, it wont make you any happier, find something you like and do it, if you have to work to be able to do it then dont fret about it. it could be worse. loads of 'stuff' wont make you wealthy. you think you need something to make you happy and lose sight that you already have a smashin life, get a good bunch of equally minded mates, listen to good music, not fashionable shite. that really grinds my gears! who cares what that random stranger in the street thinks about you, go have fun, no regrets. i should have been the bloody dalai lama

Dragonfly Project - RSAMD

A year ago I started my degree in technical and production arts. Sometimes I look back and feel like i have learned very little, then I stop and think how I struggled for hours making a picture frame in week 3 and my final few weeks where I built trick doors on a rake then hinged, hung them on frames and painted them. My progression to me is clear and although I may not feel confident my I can see a clear improvement in my ability. I look at some of the thing I achieved in last year which i am proud of and think ... i cant do that, but the thing is i've done it.





This week I have often found myslef looking at these images. I feel at a very low point in my confidence. With my major subject Scenic Art I feel like there is no right or wrong just it will do or not good enough. I need to remeber what I achived last year and that there is no reason why I cant achive 8 times that this year. I have noticed since i returned i am very crital of myslef. I would hope to think over critcal but increasing feel allthough i am being hard on myslef it is justifed. I feel like i need a success to make me as enthustic and happy as I was a few weeks ago.

Social thing are wonderful. The applied arts girl seem so close and happy. With movie nights, dinners, dougnuts and chats we genrally seem a really good time. Suprising with so many girls there isnt that much bitchyness.

Well i guess im not going to find my trupih sitting up here. Fingers crossed for me that i find somthing to give me that boost i need.

A video of happy summer times ... kevin our dragon fly x